


Agent of Destruction

by Ionaonie



Series: The Bond Files [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bond is a menace, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ionaonie/pseuds/Ionaonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Walther PPK/S was the first piece of equipment 007 failed to return. It was by no means the last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agent of Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how or why this - and subsequent chapters - happened, but happen it did. Not particularly betaed, but thanks to thisissirus and seektheinfinite for glancing over this for me. All mistakes are mine and if you see anything glaringly obvious, let me know.

The Walther PPK/S was the first piece of equipment 007 failed to return. It was by no means the last.

But this was the first piece of equipment returned to Q Branch in fragments. Small, tiny fragments. 

Staring down at the table, his arms folded across his chest, he glanced at Gemma - Dr Morrow to most -, who was standing next to him, glaring down at each piece like they’d individually offended her. ‘Did he say _how_ it happened?’ 

‘He breezed in, dumped the bag on my work station and breezed out again.’ 

Q pinched the bridge of his nose. Hard. ‘All without a word?’ 

Gemma exhaled sharply. ‘You’re the only one he ever has an explanation for,’ she said sourly. For all that Gemma was dedicated to her job, she was usually cheerful and easy to work with. But there was no other agent who could chase away her good nature as quickly or as thoroughly as 007. 

‘They aren’t much of an explanation, believe me.’ Honestly, they amounted to little more than a smirk and some terrible quip about it being necessary for the success of the mission, but Q didn’t think Gemma was in the mood to hear him complain about Bond. 

‘Well, they’re more than the rest of us get when you aren’t around.’ 

As mortified as he was by the destruction of so many hours of work - both by him, Gemma and the rest of the team - he couldn’t quite bite back the small smile that crept across his face at Gemma’s severely exasperated tone. 

‘M should make him pay for all the equipment he loses or destroys.’

‘Do you think he’d notice the sudden reduction in pay?’ 

‘No. Not at all. But it’d make me feel better.’ 

Q hummed non-committedly. 

‘Just think of all the research we would be free to do if we didn’t have to keep rebuilding and replacing everything Bond destroys.’ Her voice took on the slightly wistful tone she used when talking about her research aspirations. ‘I have dreams about it. Many, many dreams.’

‘We could fund a whole new division,’ Q agreed, careful to keep his voice mild. Bond might have a destructive streak a mile wide, but he couldn’t deny that his success rate was first class. It had to be. Otherwise M would have stopped sending him on missions a long time ago. 

‘Just.’ She pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath. ‘Just keep him away from me for a while, yeah?’

‘I can take his debriefs for the foreseeable future,’ Q said. ‘If you think that’ll help you.’

‘Well, I doubt M would be all that thrilled if his premier Agent of Destruction died in a tragic lab explosion,’ Gemma said dryly. 

Raising his mug to his lips, Q hid the smile that refused to go away. He knew it was petty, but it always something of a relief to see that Bond annoyed someone else more than him. ‘Oh, I don’t know, doctor. Maybe he’d find it a relief. Greatly reduce the number of headaches he has on a weekly basis.’

Gemma arched an eyebrow. Somehow, despite being a mere three years older than him, she had already perfected the art of making him feel like he’d been sent to the headmistresses office. It was unnerving, to say the least. But not a skill transferable to Bond, unfortunately. ‘Even among the double-0s, Bond is legendary.’

‘Perhaps you’re right. It probably wouldn’t be worth the black mark on your permanent record.’

Gemma laughed. ‘So, what do we do with all this?’

Letting out a breath, he shrugged. ‘Dispose of it in the normal way, I suppose.’

‘At least we can incorporate the upgrades into the new model,’ she mused, picking up the fragments one by one. After a moment she flashed Q an evil smile. ‘We could test the next prototype on 007.’

Q laughed.


End file.
